


His Golden Cathedral

by PurpleFlowerGardener



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Anxiety, Concerts, Excitement, F/M, Inspired by Real Events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 08:19:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15725556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleFlowerGardener/pseuds/PurpleFlowerGardener
Summary: I went to my first Panic! Concert this summer with one of my friends and this seems to be the result.





	His Golden Cathedral

I am in attendance at the Target Center, in Minneapolis Minnesota. It is July 11th, 2018, the day I attended my very first concert. Fresh outta high school, having graduated in the 91st percentile, I am scheduled to go to a good college in the fall of this year, but this summer is the most important one of my life. It is the summer where I can really have a summer. It is a summer where I can actually play and be free, for the past four summers have been spent in preparation for the ACT & SAT, and then college. Now here I am, surrounded by strangers and one friend, about to live. 

I have always loved Panic! At The Disco, but I’ve obviously never seen them live before. This is my first concert, and I can’t believe It’s about to happen. Hayley Kiyoko, then Arizona, and then- relatively quiet. There is a timer on the big screens, counting down from ten minutes. My friend, Emily, and I dash out of our seats, get waters, and run back. It’s only about four minutes now, and people are still relatively quiet, but now a murmur is rising through the crowd. Discussing excitement at seeing Brendon Urie, and I am agreeing as Emily asks me:

“I am so excited! Are you fucking excited!?!” There are about as many exclamation marks as Emily ever uses, as she is the overly Goth fan of Panic! And uses more than one only in situations like this.

“Yeah! I am so fucking excited!” I reply, and I grin. Nothing has ever felt as good as this does, even if the music I came here for hasn’t played yet. 

The timer continues to count down to nine PM, and once the timer counts down to 10 seconds, the crowd begins to chant- 9, 8, 7-

Emily’s hand finds mine. She knows better than anyone that I am scared. She probably knows this better than even I do. She’s been to one of his concerts before, on his Death of a Bachelor tour, and she has vouched time and time again that, “Yes, these extremely expensive seats are worth it!!”- Again, multiple exclamation points. 6, 5, 4-

My heart is pounding, and I am sweating far more than I’d like to admit. I am about to see him, in person. Brendon Boyd Urie, on stage in mere seconds, about to make my life. About to make my 18 years of culminated life and approximate five years of loving Brendon. My high point. 3, 2, 1-

At 3, I’m shaking. At 2, I am high on more endorphins than my body has ever produced at one time ever. At 1, my heart stops and starts again at -1 when my everything goes into overdrive as Brendon emerges from the floor of the stage on an elevator. 

I think I scream as this happens, but I can barely hear anything at all because everyone around me is screaming right along with me. Some are yelling the lyrics to Fuck a Silver Lining, but others like me are just vocalizing their overstimulation and excitement. 

The next hours are spent in pure, undiluted, joy. After I get over screaming in excitement, I sing along, getting every word right, and I feel like I’ve never felt. Near the end, something entirely unexpected happens to me. Death Of a Bachelor plays, and Bendon enters the crowd of people in the pit. I am in the pit, at the very edge, and I feel simultaneously excited and scared. He could be in arms reach in seconds, and it looks like he will be. Emily tugs my arm, and I make room for her so she can meet him too, and then- he’s here. I reach out, not quite sure how to touch him. Shake his hand? Hand hug? Passing me without any bodily contact? It turns out to be something entirely different. Inadvertently, I’ve put both hands out, and He mistakes my gesture for an invitation for a hug. I never expected to be blessed in such a way, but he pulls me into his chest. 

I meet his eyes for half a second. His brown eyes soften, and he smiles the slightest. He can see how afraid I am, and then we are hugging. It lasts just seconds, as he is being corralled by the other fans and his camera crew. He is so warm, and solid. I don’t know what I expected hugging him to be like because I never expected to hug him. 

I turn to Emily and her eyes are wide. He didn’t interact with her one bit, but she doesn’t seem all that perturbed by his not acknowledge her. It is too fucking loud for us to converse anymore, but I know what she is thinking. I am thinking it too.

“I am so fucking happy,” I say, not expecting anyone to hear me.


End file.
